My Worst Time & How I Stay Positive
Everyone must have experienced the most unpleasant, annoying, sad, unwanted, hated times, basically the times that are difficult to live, usually called bad time or if it’s too much, worst time. I’m one of them. I experienced the worst time I’ve ever felt in my entire life in that world at the end of 2016-2017. At that time, it was really the one who cried every day, eating too in the mood, the worst thing was thinking about doing-something-that-actually-ruined-my-body :))))
The bad news is that I know when I was studying, I forgot what I was studying for, but what was clear at that time was that I was in grade 12 and had too many exams to pass. I’ve had a lot of exams, eh, I’m still given the bonus of a live exam 🙂 Actually I’ve started to feel the rumors about the bad news, but when I found out that the bad news was a real fix, woooooh I felt like I was going to die. At that time, I was preparing for the sbmptn too, then I was a 3-year-old ipa child who wanted to be sbm soshum without tutoring. Super want to give it up. Learning never takes the material, forgets to keep forgetting. School also skips mulu to the prayer room to cry and pray HAHAHA:’) That’s how I am. Then if you’re really not in the mood, you really don’t go to school and cry all day in bed. Mana bella is the one who has the most difficulty conversing with friends, so it’s stressful to be dealing with such a big problem, luckily I didn’t die.
I’m never productive for days, why do I do anything even though I’ve been sbmptn for tens of years. I thought, I’m already halfway through the unfinished business. Then I’m also like I don’t want to lose to things that make me sad. I want to show that nightmares that come true won’t make me give up just like that. Finally, I started to pursue the material for the BMPTN again, although sometimes I had to stop halfway because I was sad or thinking and cried for a long time, when I calm down a bit, I usually look at IG Studyblr (trust me, it works) and then make coffee or other drinks and then start studying again. If you’re sad again, you’ll cry again. It makes me want to be a psychologist HAHAHA so I can help other people who feel like me. But I thought again, if the reason I became a psychologist was that nightmare, it means that I will forever be haunted by that dream HUHL Then I dropped the spirit again, wkwkwk. Until finally looking for a new motivation that makes me excited again. At that time, I was interested in politics and history. Then I love to look at the website of the Ministry of Home Affairs, I also like to read news about the state of the country, then find the ‘fact’ that some Simbah has been involved in politics. Finally have the motivation to give something to Indonesia, isn’t it cheesy? Hey sorry. Then I began to be interested in politics, with Fisipol. Then I found a Government Science major (which turned out to be Politics and Government, not just government). Finding a major is like meeting a soul mate, because what I want to learn is all there. In the end, I pursued it but I still want to get Political/Government Science in Surabaya (UNAIR) or Malang (UB) because I’m lazy in Jogja, it makes me sad hehehe. But yes, it’s still UGM’s first choice.
Finally I can be productive again, but it’s different from before the bad news. At that time, I often studied outside the home, at cafes or restaurants that made my wallet thin, or when I was broke, I went to the pusda near the school. My work every day is school and then I go home to study until 9 or 10 pm and then I go home. Btw, I went to those places myself, hehe. But not infrequently I feel sad again, think again, yes I can only cry anyway usually then stop studying, then when I’m really sad I go home and sleep. Sleep can really calm the heart HAHAHAHA.
Until finally sbmptn, then waiting for the results, I’m still pessimistic because I feel that others are definitely more prepared than me, especially when my preparations consist mostly of crying! :)))))) But when the announcement was made…. I couldn’t believe it. Crying paid off!! My sadness that I fought with all my might finally makes me happyJ I really feel that everything must have something to do with it :”)
Sometimes you have to go through the worst to get to the best. Give it some time.”
Anyway, for all those who are still in difficult times, just believe that you will find happiness that you never imagined before. Be patient, pray, fight, find a way out, don’t just stand still. Anyway, you have to have a mindset that every problem has a solution. Anyway, if you have a problem, just proton. Even though it is surrounded by negative electrons, protons are still positive!!!!! Ipa’s ex-child still remembers WKWK’s chemistry. Cheers to all of you, bella luv you :3