May 25, 2022 11:03 am

My Dylan

I don’t want to precede God’s will about being and going, being and not being, being together or not. However, let me write for him, the figure of ‘Dilan’ who has been helping me keep breathing.


I know you are not Dilan, who likes to fight and fight with other people
I know you are not Dilan, who is a member of the motorcycle club
I know you are not Dilan, who is willing not to do his habits just for Milea
I know you’re not Dilan, who told Milea not to miss, because it’s heavy and she won’t be strong
I know you are not Dilan, who said he would make the person who hurt Milea disappear
But you are my Dilan, who fights against a wall, fighting against his own emotions
But you are my Dilan, who is a member of the elite club
But you are my Dilan, who continues to do your habits and makes me realize that each of us has a dream that we must make it come true and then we will be grateful together
But you are my Dilan, who finally created a distance to miss being present, heavy but that’s what finally made me able to face the weight of life
But you are my Dilan, who when I cried because a man who previously said to me “I don’t like girls crying because of boys” left me, didn’t choose to make the man disappear, but you preferred never to disappear so I wouldn’t be lonely
my Dylan,
who is like a motorcycle taxi driver when wearing a jeans jacket,
Thank you for wanting to be a reason not to give up now and being a support for Bella to be able to stand up until now
Thank you for always reassuring me when I’m not even sure of myself
Thank you for taking a little time to accompany me for a walk around Jogja on a bicycle with the left mirror to look at me
Thank you for saying “Bell, I’m going back to Jogja” when I’m in such a state of chaos
Thank you for giving me millions of joys and sorrows that are so outrageous that they can make me who I am today

Hopefully in the future there will be many stories that I can write about you, so that later a book titled your name will be born with a navy blue cover and a gray title font. Pray for. I hope I can make your strange dream come true, Dilanku.


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